Blessed One,

You’re right where you need to be.

I see what you really want is to have the experience of feeling yourself, your essence. You’ve felt this with others, reflecting your essence, reflecting the divine in you, and you’re trying to see it in them. But then your divinity depends on their presence. And what you really, really want is to feel it, to feel Me, on your own. So you get angry when others reflect anything but the highest truth. You get resentful and cynical. But deep down, you know that only you can show yourself your truth. Deep down, you really only want to be with people who support the highest truth, who don’t buy into the illusion of the small Self.

What you want is to see the world through my eyes. To share your life with me and feel the gifts of living a divinely inspired life. To live in harmony with me. To feel yourself as many moments as possible. To explore the world and play. To give and receive love. To be expansive. To see how high you can soar. To live with integrity and dignity and to play “full out”, even when that means resting!

I get that what you’re wanting is compassionate truth. And reality. You’re wanting clarity. Let’s remember that it’s not even a question if you are “too much” or “not enough” or “lovable”. My questions for you are, “how open is your heart?” “how are you loving and caring for yourself?” “how much of your precious truth are you sharing in this moment?” “how much love of my boundless love are you up for letting in?”

When challenging things happen, know that I am not abandoning you. I have only love for you. Challenges are not a sign that you are “doing something wrong”. They are a sign that you are alive. They occur, partly for your growth — to open you to a new way of being or a new possibility — and partly for reasons you cannot know or understand at this moment. Know that I am completely here with you at every moment, and feel me whenever you call me in your heart. You are infinitely OK, as I have made you in my own image.

Rest in the Divine Heart,

Your Creator


You Might Be a Love Addict If…

by Alicia Dattner on April 20, 2012

You might be a love addict if your heart looks like this...I’ve written a little a quiz worthy of Jeff Foxworthy… (you know, the guy who did the bit, “You might be a redneck if…”)  it’s nice to bring a little humor into the topic of love, sex, and relationship addiction.. God, I still can’t believe I’m blogging about this in public. So here are a few sample questions. This wee quiz can help you make absolutely sure you’re not even close to being addicted to love or sex and have no need whatsoever to consider seeking help for your suffering. Don’t worry–if you might be addicted, you can laugh your way into recovery!

You Might Be a Love Addict If….

1. When you were ten, your favorite thing to do with friends was:

A) Stuff socks in our shirts to see what having boobs will looks like. And choreograph sexy dance routines to Madonna’s Material Girl.
B) Sew patchwork quilts!
C) Work on the photovoltaic project for the science fair.
D) What friends? …I was in my room making out with my pillow.

2. You fall in love:

A) At first sight.
B) Truly, madly, deeply.
C) Only fools fall in love.
D) I don’t fall in love… I walk into love, gently, slowly, step by step.

3. When someone rejects you after a date, you:

A) Well, I just figure, we’re not a match. Some people like pizza, some people like Chinese. He was a pizza guy. Come to think of it, he was an actual pizza guy, so I wasn’t that into him anyway.
B) Am so relieved. I don’t know what I would do if he was actually interested in me. He might find out how boring and needy and insecure I really am. Shoot, I’m lucky.
C) No one rejects me. It’s not possible. I mean, look at me!
D) Seriously. No one rejects me. Read my lips. Come a little closer. No one has ever said no.

(Download the whole quiz on the right side bar…)


I Can’t Stop Thinking about Tony…

April 3, 2012

The Kids in the Hall, a sketch comedy group from Canada in the 90’s had some brilliant things to say about love addiction. This sketch has stayed in my mind for twenty years–I just watched it again, and it made me laugh out loud (which is hard to do). It’s so over-the-top, but SO ARE […]

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The Post-Valentine’s Day Massacre, Part 2

February 16, 2012

This year, I happen to have a boyfriend, and we were both busy on Valentine’s Day–I had a comedy show and he had a telesummit–and we basically postponed Valentine’s Day for later. It’s funny–the day sort of passed un-noticed to a large extent in comparison with how it used to be before I went into […]

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The Post-Valentine’s Day Massacre, Part 1

February 16, 2012

Have you ever heard, “Happy Valentine’s Day!” and thought, “Same to you too, buddy.“? To tell you the truth, I don’t actually remember many Valentine’s Days since fourth grade when we’d all hand out our 30 Snoopy cards to all the kids in the class. Why don’t I remember them? See, Recovering alcoholics say New […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 4 of 4

December 27, 2011

First off, take note that this is an advanced move–and a move that’s particular for people who tend to err toward the side of being disconnected rather than overly-connected. It’s not to be toyed with when you’re just attempting to become sexually sober–you can get yourself back into trigger-land and find yourself browsing the digital […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 3 of 4

December 26, 2011

In sobriety, there’s a little thing called “white knuckling.” It’s what you do when you hold on really, really tight to stay in control and make really, really sure you don’t screw up. For alcoholics, you might white knuckle it so you don’t drink. But for love or sex addicts, it’s a little less clear […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 2 of 4

December 23, 2011

It feels shitty to realize you’ve given your power away in love. You might think, “I wouldn’t do that! I like power. I don’t want someone else to have control over my happiness.” But you’re human, and you live in the world, and many families don’t teach their young truly how to relate cleanly with […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 1 of 4

December 23, 2011

Ever feel like you’ve been deflated by a date or a partner? That somehow whatever was going on with them was suddenly way more important than what was going on with you? I used to have the sensation that The Party is over there and I have to go there if I want to have […]

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Crying is so good for you, Part 2 of 2

December 16, 2011

Sometimes, however, I forget I’m a crier, and I get in this mindset that I have to keep up appearances… I go through dry spells that last weeks or months… Maybe I’m working with someone, and I think, “People don’t cry at work!” Or maybe I’m with my partner, and I think, “I shouldn’t be […]

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