In a fantasy about love?

by Alicia Dattner on November 16, 2011

When we’re single, we dream of being in a relationship. Even if it’s not conscious, we can tend to have the fantasy that, “One day, when I’m in a relationship, I won’t come home to an empty house.” or, “One day, when I’m in a relationship, my sexual needs with finally be totally fulfilled.” Yeah, right!

And when we’re partnered, we also have the grass is greener fantasy… “If I were single, I wouldn’t have to deal with another person’s emotions as well as mine. It would be so much clearer what is going on with me and how to stay peaceful.” or, “If only I were single, I could take off to Maui for Thanksgiving.” Again, yeah right! Honeys, your situation being different than it is will not make everything all better once and for all.

It’s so human to find ourselves in these sorts of fantasies, but likely, they’re covering over some emotion or feeling that wants to move through. It can be helpful at this time to just take a few minutes throughout the day and just stop everything and ask, “What feeling is wanting to come?” To put a hand on your heart and invite that hidden need to arise and ask to be met by you. Because you’re the best lover you’ll ever have.

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