How to Care for Yourself

The Post-Valentine’s Day Massacre, Part 2

by Alicia Dattner on February 16, 2012

This year, I happen to have a boyfriend, and we were both busy on Valentine’s Day–I had a comedy show and he had a telesummit–and we basically postponed Valentine’s Day for later. It’s funny–the day sort of passed un-noticed to a large extent in comparison with how it used to be before I went into […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 3 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 26, 2011

In sobriety, there’s a little thing called “white knuckling.” It’s what you do when you hold on really, really tight to stay in control and make really, really sure you don’t screw up. For alcoholics, you might white knuckle it so you don’t drink. But for love or sex addicts, it’s a little less clear […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 2 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 23, 2011

It feels shitty to realize you’ve given your power away in love. You might think, “I wouldn’t do that! I like power. I don’t want someone else to have control over my happiness.” But you’re human, and you live in the world, and many families don’t teach their young truly how to relate cleanly with […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 1 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 23, 2011

Ever feel like you’ve been deflated by a date or a partner? That somehow whatever was going on with them was suddenly way more important than what was going on with you? I used to have the sensation that The Party is over there and I have to go there if I want to have […]

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Crying is so good for you, Part 1 of 2

by Alicia Dattner on December 16, 2011

I am a crier. I cry and cry and cry. My partner calls it “leaking,” which makes me cry more when I’m already crying. I cry when I’m sad, when I’m frustrated, when I’m angry. I cry when I make love. When I’m happy, when I’m grateful, when I spot a rainbow. Or watch someone on […]

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The Push! The Pull! Part 1

by Alicia Dattner on November 30, 2011

Part 1: The Pull  If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time in your life strategizing about how to get the love you want, the way you want, at the time you want it. It can be subtle and difficult to notice that it’s happening. Or it can be really obvious. Or really […]

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What to do in the middle of a meltdown

by Alicia Dattner on November 30, 2011

When I was deep into my love addiction, there were times when I would get so upset with a situation, or myself, that I would literally start to feel the wheels in my brain spinning out, smoking coming out of my ears, daggers from my eyes, fire from my throat. There were usually several factors […]

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In a fantasy about love?

by Alicia Dattner on November 16, 2011

When we’re single, we dream of being in a relationship. Even if it’s not conscious, we can tend to have the fantasy that, “One day, when I’m in a relationship, I won’t come home to an empty house.” or, “One day, when I’m in a relationship, my sexual needs with finally be totally fulfilled.” Yeah, […]

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