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The Post-Valentine’s Day Massacre, Part 2

by Alicia Dattner on February 16, 2012

This year, I happen to have a boyfriend, and we were both busy on Valentine’s Day–I had a comedy show and he had a telesummit–and we basically postponed Valentine’s Day for later. It’s funny–the day sort of passed un-noticed to a large extent in comparison with how it used to be before I went into […]

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The Post-Valentine’s Day Massacre, Part 1

by Alicia Dattner on February 16, 2012

Have you ever heard, “Happy Valentine’s Day!” and thought, “Same to you too, buddy.“? To tell you the truth, I don’t actually remember many Valentine’s Days since fourth grade when we’d all hand out our 30 Snoopy cards to all the kids in the class. Why don’t I remember them? See, Recovering alcoholics say New […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 4 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 27, 2011

First off, take note that this is an advanced move–and a move that’s particular for people who tend to err toward the side of being disconnected rather than overly-connected. It’s not to be toyed with when you’re just attempting to become sexually sober–you can get yourself back into trigger-land and find yourself browsing the digital […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 3 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 26, 2011

In sobriety, there’s a little thing called “white knuckling.” It’s what you do when you hold on really, really tight to stay in control and make really, really sure you don’t screw up. For alcoholics, you might white knuckle it so you don’t drink. But for love or sex addicts, it’s a little less clear […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 2 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 23, 2011

It feels shitty to realize you’ve given your power away in love. You might think, “I wouldn’t do that! I like power. I don’t want someone else to have control over my happiness.” But you’re human, and you live in the world, and many families don’t teach their young truly how to relate cleanly with […]

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Reclaim Your Power, Part 1 of 4

by Alicia Dattner on December 23, 2011

Ever feel like you’ve been deflated by a date or a partner? That somehow whatever was going on with them was suddenly way more important than what was going on with you? I used to have the sensation that The Party is over there and I have to go there if I want to have […]

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Crying is so good for you, Part 2 of 2

by Alicia Dattner on December 16, 2011

Sometimes, however, I forget I’m a crier, and I get in this mindset that I have to keep up appearances… I go through dry spells that last weeks or months… Maybe I’m working with someone, and I think, “People don’t cry at work!” Or maybe I’m with my partner, and I think, “I shouldn’t be […]

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Crying is so good for you, Part 1 of 2

by Alicia Dattner on December 16, 2011

I am a crier. I cry and cry and cry. My partner calls it “leaking,” which makes me cry more when I’m already crying. I cry when I’m sad, when I’m frustrated, when I’m angry. I cry when I make love. When I’m happy, when I’m grateful, when I spot a rainbow. Or watch someone on […]

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The Push! The Pull! Part 1

by Alicia Dattner on November 30, 2011

Part 1: The Pull  If you’re like me, you’ve spent a lot of time in your life strategizing about how to get the love you want, the way you want, at the time you want it. It can be subtle and difficult to notice that it’s happening. Or it can be really obvious. Or really […]

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What are you waiting for?

by Alicia Dattner on November 30, 2011

“When I find my man, my life is going to be so perfect.” None of us says this out loud, right? Unless we’re making fun of some desperate chick who actually thinks that. But addiction to love works subtly and powerfully. It can be occurring to us right under our noses, without us even realizing it. One of the […]

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